Background Part 1:
I enter into a staff meeting today. There's a large decorated cookie on the head table that says "happy birthday" and I asked someone "what's that for?" I didn't realize what it was. Their response was that it was a birthday cookie for those with August birthdays and rattled off a little of names - they sang happy birthday, etc. My name wasn't mentioned, and of course I have an August birthday. It made me feel invisible.
Background Part 2:
At the same meeting, my boss/owner and the CEO are usually the ones who run the meetings. If one is out, the other takes over, which seems appropriate. Today one was out and the other had to leave, so the Marketing Director and VP took over. Why this bothered me, I don't know. I guess it made me feel like I worked for them. Granted, we work together for a common goal, but seeing them sitting at the head table with an air of authority really made me peeved! I've worked here for 9 years and have seen so many "corporate" types come and go. I know more about the organization that just about anyone. Maybe it wasn't the issue of me not running a meeting, because in all honesty, I wouldn't want to do it all the time anyway! Perhaps I was just overreacting to not being asked. Why does this bother me? I wonder if it's because there is an air of machismo men being in charge, leaving us women-folk to be the subordinates. Ahhh...that may be a better description. They delegate and have brainstorming sessions and get paid well to do it. The women-folk to all the work....because we have better "interpersonal skills" but somehow we get paid less. I think it's because we're lacking a certain piece of anatomy. (smirk)
Thus my post...."I must be invisible." How did I get to this place with my work? I will indulge myself with a little bit of ego stroking - I am very good at what I do. I run a successful team of 58 people (all of whom are me-centric, some more than others) across 5 locations, working part time hours. The problem is that I've devised a system within my team that is so successful that I could fall off the face of the earth and no one would notice. We're stable, we're consistent, and we're generally on the ball. When there's a crisis, it's handled in such a way that those above me never know there was a problem. When there is a victory, all the praise goes to my staff. I have the luxury of a flexible schedule - as long as someone can reach my via cell or email, everything's good. Sometimes it's too good though.
I think the idea of feeling invisible lends itself to a greater notion. Are there times that we're too successful for our own good? Are we often taken for granted, with others not giving our hard work and sacrifices a second look? Have I pigeon-holed myself so much that people don't see me fitting into another position or taking on other responsibilities? Can I be anything else other that what I am now? Many times in the last year I've contemplated pursuing another line of work, but always hold back a little. I can't imagine giving up the part of the job I love. Teaching is a passion for me, not just a hobby. I love seeing people enjoy fitness and complete things they never once thought they would be able to do. If I took on a different full time job, I would have to give up that one thing I love the most. At the end of the day, the trade off isn't worth it, or at least it hasn't gotten to that point yet.
I think we all harbor a deep-seeded need to be needed. We secretly love the idea that if something happened people would wonder how they could ever manage to move forward. We crave the idea of being needed, we live for being accepted and supported. When you get to a place where people are comfortable with your talents, often we feel taken for granted. How do we deal with this? It's a balance after all. Once has to be both independent and reliant at the same time. We don't want people to need and want us every minute of every day, yet, getting some feedback is reassuring. Even a "how are you" or "everything going ok?" is nice once in awhile.
Am I alone in this? Am I unreasonable? Am I insane? Or do I need to increase my meds, have a glass of wine and chill out? I would love your feedback!
